May 2013
“it could be that this is some degree of sexism . m.i.a. had to deal with this...”
– Björk, on sexism in the electronic music genre (via radioheadofficial)
fartgallery:
thegodismylord485:
fartgallery:
pro tip: wear clothes under your skin so when the police chase you down for public nudity you can rip off your skin and reveal your stylish cardigan and make them look dumb as heck
But how do I freeze the taco of fire?
what???
kawaii-aussie:
basically tumblr is like our father and we’re all his children and he is about to get married to yahoo who is a massive bitch and will probably ruin our lives and we’re like no dad stop and we’re all crying very loudly because we dont want yahoo to be our new mum because she is a monster who will probably kill dad when he becomes useless and take all his money that he left to us...
cis-siberianorchestra:
Today I saw a Buddhist monk in his robes cracking himself up taking selfies with a cardboard cut out of the Pope. I’ve seen world peace, and it thinks it’s hilarious.
dad-butts:
krill-ex:
god was obviously high as fuck when he made sea creatures
They were probably his first creations and he was so ashamed that he tried hiding them.
It’s like his old dA account
gooutfighting:
now taking applications for my gang, please have your mum sign your permission slip and return it in by next wednesday
dammit-barton:
flylikeabowtie:
sweetmotherofhandgrenades:
yumatsukomo:
twinkle twinkle little star
why is art so fuCKING HARD
#up above the world so high#i cant draw the OTHER EYE
twinkle twinkle little FUCK
dammit
what the-
I give up.
This is my anthem
internet-slang:
I don’t want any ifs, ands, or butts. Actually wait, I want butts. Butts are nice.
dietchola:
there was this girl at my school last year and she fucked literally every black guy at my school and people called her the night rider so she moved
grampas:
the spectrum of human emotion is so beautiful
thisbrunetteslife:
In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, all of the students Professor McGonagall is teaching to dance are Gryffindors. Which means, Hufflepuffs would be taught by Professor Sprout, Flitwick would be teaching the Ravenclaws, and guess who the Slytherins get to waltz with? “Put ………you hand …………….on ……..my …………….waist.”
what is Batman’s favourite store?
laugh-addict:
boys are so cute and they dont know they’re so cute so they smile and smirk and cock their heads to the side and smile at you and they bite their lips and when they stretch, you can see their stomach, and that little line of hair going to their belly button and down to their crotch and some of them run their fingers through their hair and make it all messy on purpose and sometimes their hands...
vvumblr:
does beyonce measure her weight in beyounces
initiala:
A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”
So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are...
gamsee:
how do you start a conversation with someone without sounding lame do you just be like Hey man how many cool scooter tricks can u do
jamandbees:
elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:
merelyafleshwound:
luciferisasexybagofdicks:
iepidemic:
hotapplestrider:
twelvejammiedodgers-andafez:
on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter
how bad is your idea
rejecting hitler from art school
holy shit
electing george bush twice
hooking up with taylor swift
giving the westboro baptist church internet access
...
ellesugars:
thepensivebrony:
“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”
finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever
